​Christmas at Dad's

It was a long hot summer
The kids swam in the river
Mum and dad had seven kids
Four boys and three girls
Christmas was always busy
Horses filling the home paddock

Beryl was the breeder
She had five boys
In seven years
All of them a handful
Just like their bloody dad
Crickey that Jimmy was wild lad

They all lived in the district
Joe and Bert had their selections
Gert and Bel married town smithys
Ted was always the smart one
Working at the Times
He had a real way with words

Jack and Norm worked for Guthrie
A squatter west of town
Tight bugger worked them hard
They still had time to breed
Jack and Mary had three
While Norm and Linda had a pair

Each year they gathered at home
Dad grumbled about the kids
Those damn little buggers
One year they wrecked the haystack
Another time they shot all his pumpkins
What's the bloody world coming to

After Christmas dinner
The parents boozed or dozed
The kids sat with Pa listening
To the time he met Santa
He swears he really did
Good old bloke that Santa

One night before Christmas
It was dark he was going home
He'd taken sheep to the bottom paddock
Pa was a man, a 13 year old man
He walked around a corner
A strange wagon was on the road

G'day Mate, I said
To the bloke with a grey beard
You look like Santa mate
He said, I am young man
I am resting my roos
They have a long way to go

It was his sleigh alright
But he didn't have reindeers
Instead seven kangaroos
Big buggers, grey boomers
They were led by Kelvin
Kelvin the Kinetic Kangaroo

The World is so big
Each country has a Santa
He was Australia's Father Christmas
Taking presents to boys and girls
When you go to sleep tonight
I will bring your present he said

It was time to go
Santa climbed aboard
Calling out to Kelvin
Bazza Macca and Bluey
Dusty Dave and Mick
Time to spread happiness

He was gone in a flash
The boomers blasting off
Sleigh bells ringing
Santa called out ho ho ho
Merry Christmas young man
I ran all the way home

A freckle faced kid piped up
That wasn't their names last year
Pa glared at the little bugger
Of course that was their bloody names
Now get out and play cricket
Before I clip you in the ear